I have the FLU!! Full blown ickiness!! My throat is so soar I can hardly swallow my own spit! Then while I was taking a much needed nap, even sleeping through the atrocious thunder from this Tropical Storm Fay, my CRAMPS woke me up!! Yes, I slept through a storm and woke because TOM thought THIS was a great moment to make an appearance. They were so bad, and I was so sick, that I took 800 more milligrams of Motrin than I was supposed to. One should not count while in pain. Yesterday when I came home from Q's house (read post below) I took a nap, thinking I was just tired from staying up drinking lime beers. Nope, I was sicker than hell. Woke up at 3am this morning with a fever and sweating my ass off, while freezing at the same time.
I had to drop the boy off at school so I could rest. I just picked him up telling him my slurpee (for my throat) was my medicine.
"I'm sick too mommy I need medicine"
"Oh I bet!"
So I'm going to rest and get back with you when I can. Hopefully Fay isnt too beasty tomorrow and I will have electricity!
Toodles, for now!
Monday, August 18, 2008
YICK
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Fashion For Less
I don't know how or why, it just came out of nowhere and I'm also about to get my monthly visit with TOM and I'm just an unhappy lady. To add to it, I have a slight sun burn from Saturday and I'm an idiot who smokes.
Friday I cleaned the house and did all of my laundry. I felt absolutely refreshed and a little zippy from the Red Bull. I spent an hour visiting at my grandmother's house and said goodbye to one of my aunts and her two (evil serial killer looking) daughters. I sat and worked on a puzzle my granny had layed out for the entire time like I were on meth, and after that I took my tired behind home.
I drove down to see Q on Saturday and she is just as cute in person as she is in her pictures. Same goes for Spike who is an absolute DOLL! Sky was "smitten" with him right away and also with Q's car, as everywhere we went he would make sure I knew we were not going to use my car. Q's A/C was broken and we were all sweating and contemplating laying around in our bathingsuits but we went to Ruby Tuesday's and the beach instead. The food and drinks were great and so was the beach. The tide was low and the water was shallow. Sky had a great time running and jumping into the water showing no fear at all. I ended up getting red on top of my shoulders and my face. The sun down there is a lot different than up where I live and I am only an hour away.
We went to get water and ice cream and I couldnt make it out of the store without guzzling most of my bottle down. Skyler made a spectical of himself in the car, with ice cream dripping all over his chin and chest. We decided to go home and change and wait for the A/C guy to fix the heat issue. We laughed and "cried" over a certain "emailed-blog-post". We talked a lot the entire time I was there. It was great. I needed some female bonding. After loosing my best friend to some rediculous bullshit it was nice having someone on my level to hang out with for a change.
We went to Wally World and got some beer and some dinner for Sky. Q pointed at a fine fine FINE man and I giggled like an idiot. Embarassing her I'm sure, but hey, we were all staring at eachother and I cracked under pressure. We got aggrivated with the common slow walking rude ass people of Wal Mart and drove to Burlington Coat Factory so that Q could look for a new bag. Sky fell asleep. It was hilarious. He went into a dead lifeless stare for a while and was soon out cold. Burlington was a hand-bag-whore's dream! I couldnt believe all the isles of bags! I was in heaven. Q and I gualked row after row of bags until she found two that she liked and I found one that I couldnt do without. Unfortunately there was no tag on the bag. It was an Ecko Red back so I was sure it wasnt too cheap. Q grabbed a tag from a $10 bag that was the same color and put it inside. We laughed about the possibility of getting caught, so to save myself the embarassment I grabbed another bag just incase. Luckily the girl at the register was too young to care nor did she really want the extra work for herself, and I got a pretty decent bag for $10.
After we got back to her house Sky was fed and put to sleep, and I had the best home cooked meal I have had in a long time. Black beans & rice, plantains, and chicken. I'm not sure what she seasoned the chicken with but it was delicious! And it all seemed so effortless to her! We had our Bud Light Lime's and watched VH1 and Cheaters and giggled our asses off while talking endlessly about our dating failures and old gossip from back in the C+D days. She pulled out a bed for myself and Sky and we called it a night. After Sky had breakfast the next morning we decided to get ready to leave. Sky asked Q, "Hey! Who took your bed!!." He was a very good boy the whole time and I was so proud of him.
It was really great meeting Q and so odd how we had just met but had so much fun like we had known each other for a while. I guess that's what blogging does to the situation. I hope that we'll hang out again because Sky and I had a great time. I'm not sure why we didn't take more pictures!! We'll definitely do that next time. But we got a few of Sky and Spike anyway!
Spike was getting to know me on a more intimate level, giving Sky the side-eye, and getting some much loved attention on Boogie's lap!! I'm sure Spike loved the rubbins he was getting this weekend!
Right now we have some tropical storm comming our way. Hopefully it wont turn into much, but we will have some heavy rain and wind starting tonight! So cross your fingers and toes! I need to go for some much needed rest and get ready for my day tomorrow.
Toodles for now!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Life Is So Unfair
Yesterday I wrote a long letter directed to my son's father, and I sent it to his cousin on Myspace in hopes that he would pass the letter on. I have written his cousin, his cousin's girlfriend/baby's mom, and his play brother multiple times on Myspace, and of course I'm always ignored. But this time I got a response, from his cousin. He said that he was 31 years old with his own family and he doesnt want to be involved, which is understandable. I told him if he is my son's father's cousin, then that makes my son his cousin-------aka------his family. He said that he doesnt understand whats going on and that he knows there are two sides to every story, and that he would pass the message on for me.
I just cant fathme how so many people can just ignore an innocent child. Especially because these people knew me. They saw me every single time I was with my son's father. Hell......they KNEW how offten we were having sex and how careless we were being. They saw how much we cared about eachother. And they watched it all fall apart when I told him I was pregnant. And everyone I thought were friends turned into enemies. They all acted as though I was never there. As if they never knew me. Its surreal. Its a slap in the face and a harsh dose of reality. I was the "jump off". I had no status in any of their lives. I amounted to nothing in their eyes. But it still amazes me that not one of them have a shred of humilty.
I gave them my phone number, maybe my son's father will call me, maybe not. I'm not holding my breath. All I know is that I tried. I tried very hard, and I made a complete fool of myself in the process. I didnt care about looking like a fool. I only cared about making the best effort I could. But I cant make this man be a father, I cant force him to care about his son, and I cant continue to try when I'm only running in circles.
I have made a really important decision to be a living doner for fellow blogger, Juli's son. I have a matching blood type and I am hoping that I will be a match after they do the initial blood test. I have a lot of screenings I will have to go through to find out if I can donate my kidney to her son, but I'm willing to go through with it and I'm very excited to help them both out. My parents werent too excited about it at first but after a few "You're not changing my mind" and "This is my decision and my body" and "I would apreciate your support" conversations, they are behind me 100%. Its going to be VERY HARD. I will loose work, money, and spend at least a week to ten days in the hospital. I will have to fly to where she is to have the surgery which will be costly, and I will have to pay for fallow up visits for my recovery. But I'm saving a child's life, and being broke for a month wont kill me. I will keep you all updated!!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Pitty Party Hostess
In case you're wondering who Hostess uppity behind is speaking of in her blog its yours truly. She didn't like the fact that I disagreed with her. Her point was that Soldiers shouldn't have to pay for extra baggage when they are to deploy or re-locate. My opinion was those regulations are there for a reason and shouldn't change just because someone is a soldier just like they wouldn't change if someone were to have one leg or a missing left nut. If you know you can bring Y amount of bags that weigh X and you go over that amount, you pay for it, regardless of who you are. You're still on a plane, you're not special because of your career choice. No disrespect but Aaliyah's staff ignored weight limitations on their plane and we know how that turned out.
Either way, I was passionate about my opinion. I got a little anoyed that she wasnt mentioning or hearing any of my points, only putting them off and being snotty about them saying things like "Google it" or "I just simply cant. I don't have it in me today." She only has it in her to be agreed with or for her to have the position of devils advocate. I disagree and she...calls me an idiot, says I have always been an idiot. She only continued to post my comments because they were entertaining, and proceeded to delete my comments.
Though I was passionate about my opinion I did not attack her character, call her out of her name, or presume that she was stupid for having the opinion she had. I only suggested that she may not know something she's had no part in. She said that this was how things were NOW not when I WAS in the military. As if I was in the military 20 years ago....when gas was 87cents a gallon. I was in four years ago. I also spoke through IM with my ex J. who just got back from Iraq who agreed that no one should be exempt from abiding by airport regulations. They are there for safety, capacity, and comfort reasons.
But I'm dumb, always have been, and my comments were dramatically deleted. After which she posted a new "Announcement" about how she likes it when people disagree with her and will be starting a new blog in hopes that people will post their honest opinions, especially if they don't agree with her???
Contradictory much?
I was sick of her high and mighty "I do no wrong and I just don't understand why so many people make so many stupid mistakes in their life" wining ass. I just wanted to help the girl out because she clearly didn't understand what she was talking about.
And riddle me this? I've always been an idiot, so how long was she going to play pretend with me via email and blog comment section?
Spare me.
Thievin Asses
Because today is a slow blog day (its been a slow blog week, who am I kidding)
I thought I would steal this from Q, who stole it from Monie, who stole it from Lex, so feel free to steal it from me :)
1. Your name spelled backwards.
ahsas
2. Where were your parents born?
My father was born in Queens New York
My mother was born in Placerville California (small country part of northern Cali)
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Music
4. What’s your favorite restaurant?
Macaroni Grill
5. Last time you swam in a pool?
Two weekends ago?
I really dont like pools as muc as I used to
6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Yes when I was young-young. I loved it! It was a musical too. I actually sang 11 years of my school years. Had to catch up on grades my senior year.
7. How many kids do you want?
I would like a girl
8. Type of music you dislike most?
heavy metal
9. Are you registered to vote?
NO! & I so should be!
10. Do you have cable?
DVR, baby!
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
No but I have been on a motorcycle
12. Ever prank call anybody?
When I was in high school I called a pizza, taxi, and chinese food delivery to this guy who was mean to me.
13. Ever get a parking ticket?
never.
I only get moving violations
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Get back to me on that one.
15. Furthest place you ever traveled.
Germany
16. Do you have a garden?
No but I would like one
17. What’s your favorite comic strip?
I don’t read the comics.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
I do.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower at night
20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
I liked Hancock, but honestly my favorite recently was Deffinately Maybe. I was late watching it but I loved it
21. Favorite pizza topping?
EVERYTHING
22. Chips or popcorn?
Chips
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
Clear gloss
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
that sounds gross
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
nope
26. Orange Juice or apple?
Cranberry
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
My family went to Carrabas and it was really good. I hate the dim lighting though to be honest. My eye sight is really bad already.
28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
Twix
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
:(
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
I LOVE TOMATOS
My grandmother has her own vine. I eat them all the time.
31. Have you ever won a trophy?
Soccer,Volleyball, and Softball when I was younger
32. Are you a good cook?
eh.
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
Of course.
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
I'm honestly debating Proactive
35. Sprite or 7-up? Either.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Yes! For many years. From 16 until recently I was in a uniform. Thats why I love my job so much!
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
Cough medicine for my son
38. Ever throw up in public?
Not that I can remember
*snickers*
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
True Love
40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nope. Lust at first sight. Infactuation, even.
41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
negative.
42. Can ex’s be friends?
I have a couple that are friends, but its not reccomended.
43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
My cousin Juli when she was having her baby.
44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
Yes, dark too.
45. What message is on your answering machine?
You've reached Sash' and Lil'Man, leave us a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks.
46. What’s your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
Adam Sandler?
47. What was the name of your first pet?
Stevie, the dog who bit my brother in the face. He still has that scar.
48. What is in your purse? :
3 different types of clear lip gloss
My wallet
Zune & headphones
Tampons & pens
Vickies change purse
Compact mirror my mother brought home from Korea for me
My shades
Sarah Jessica Parker Lovely roll on perfume
Movie Stubbs for Hancock and Pineaplle Express
My phone
5 Gum (rain)
Keys
Vickies Sexy Little Mints
A post it with more songs for the Zune written on it
Newports
A letter from the post office telling me to apply since I have already taken and
passed the postal exam
(which I did and there is no posted openings in all of Florida)
My pink iPod sock that I use for my Zune
& some random pink pouch thing from Vickies
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Shower.
It calms me.
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
Patience
♥
"I get brain everyday, I'm a know-it-all"
You know what really chaps my silky smooth tanned ass? When people carry themselves with the notion that they do no wrong. Nose-in-the air types. Especially women. Any normal person has gone through some kind of strife, made some sort of mistake, or made a bad decision. I have made plenty of bad decisions, and I'm probably not through making them. They get less and less dramatic, but I'm still making them today. For example I went against my better judgement today and bought a bunch of junk food for my office. On one hand its bad for my diet, on the other it was money I shouldn't have spent. When someone judges a group of people for their decision making and puts them into a category, those are the type of people who get under my skin. Assuming someone on Welfare is lazy, is wrong. To assume someone who doesn't have custody of their child doesn't love that child is wrong. We don't know why some people are in the positions they are in. We don't know why some people make certain decisions. But to branch off of this, just because someone was fortunate enough in their life to not make similar bad choices or mistakes, does not make them a better person.
My life is going to be short. All of ours is. With each birthday I celebrate for myself and now for my son, I am starting to realize that everything I have can be gone in a flash, and to spend the rest of my time here on earth trying to fit into some social standard of accomplishment, could waste precious moments of my short life. I cannot focus on what others have done as a standard for me. I cannot sit here and bare resentment for what I have failed to do, or the opportunities I did not take. All I can do is be open to new opportunities, and learn from the mistakes I've made and work towards making better decisions. Yet only to fulfill my own life and not satisfy the opinions of others. What life is all about, is who will be there at your funeral.
I want to succeed in my life, so that my son will have an amazing foundation for his. I want to progress in the work force and in my career, so that not only will I be able to provide for my children but so that I may give them more than what I had. So that I will have the means to making this life that I have FUN for me and worthwhile for my family. I want to accomplish things in life that will make my mother proud, for she gave me life. It's my duty as a child to do things in life that will positively reflect my mother's duties as my parent, and to raise my child to have the same ethics. The amount of money I make, nor the amount of material possesions I own, are going to matter come judgement day. And while my family holds each others hand at my funeral, I want them to speak of what a happy, exciting, giving, and loving life that I had. I want them to talk of all the things we've done together, what they had learned from me, and what gifts of joy I might have given them.
I'm a single parent. I made a mistake. But I gained a beautiful son, maturity, and family. I gained the blessing of motherhood. I made a mistake and did not go to school before I started to have children, but it is not too late for that. I will go to school, I will enjoy it, and I will gain a career from it. When this life is over, my time will not be measured in degrees or dollar signs. I want to make enough money so that my family is comfortable, but I will not be ashamed of my life if I am not a doctor or lawyer. I will not be ashamed that I made a decision to trust a man and believe that he loved me. To want so badly for him to love me back. Because love is what life is all about. I was foolish, but I learned from it, and I was able to love deeply, even if I wasn't loved in return.
So for anyone who wants to judge me for where I have been, where I am, or where I am going...I am happy with all of it. Because at the end of this life, you're not going to be at my funeral, so bluntly, FUCK what you think of me.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Seriously?
I am so disappointed in the male gender right now. Its like they don't have a do-right bone in their miserable little bodies. Every man I run into is suspect. I'm sorry that I feel that way. Sorry that I cant just give anyone the benefit of the doubt anymore.
I was reading Juli's blog yesterday and chatting with her on Yahoo IM during her latest male issue and I just wanted to cry for her. How could so many people be so inconsiderate? How can so many men be so shitty? I don't doubt there are plenty of men out there doing right by their women. I doubt most of them are single, but I still have some faith in men. The light is just very very dim.
This is the latest on the Orlando Missing Child case of Caylee Anthony.
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/orl-casey-anthony-calee-081008,0,960254.story?track=rss
I am so sick over this entire case. Go ahead and Google it to catch up (I know I'm lazy). The gist of it is the mother of a three year old didn't mention to anyone her child was missing until July 15th. After she reported her child missing she was seen in the club dancing and having a great time with her friends. She's lied about where she works, who she dropped her daughter off with, and the grandmother even yelled into the 911 tape that her daughter was maxing out her credit cards, returned without her grandchild, and that the car smelled like a dead body.
Sick, sick, sick.
She shows no emotion over the disappearance of her daughter, wont cooperate with the police, and she hasn't once asked in any of her taped jail-phone conversations, if anyone had yet to find her daughter.
I just want to drive up to Orlando to spit in her face.
Her bond is 500,000. She's being held for neglect and falsifying an official statement. I'm almost positive the child is not coming home. Its sad. I don't understand how a parent could let anything like this happen to their child and be able to show no emotion. If my son is missing from my sight for more than 30 seconds of me calling his name I begin to panic. My heart races, I begin to sweat, and I frantically start searching. When I find him, my heart rate lowers, my breathing goes back to normal, I'm at peace. Let my son be gone ONE hour and I would have lost my mind.
31 days??
31 days and she thought maybe NOW is a great time to call 911? After hitting a club or two? I just cant understand. It makes me ill.
Your thoughts?
